You are currently browsing the monthly archive for April 2010.
100 invitations printed, cut, folded, hole-punched, vellumed, ribboned, trimmed, sealed, enveloped, addressed and stamped.
Wow.
It’s been a lot of very fun work. Making your own stationary is definitely not something I’d recommend for everyone, but if this is something that appeals to both of you (I stress the “both”), then I’d say give it a try! For one, it’s less expensive. For another, it’s a fun project that the two of you can engage in together. It’s important, though, that both of you are actually into it. If only one or neither of you are, it will be a very frustrating experience for both of you. Don’t do it just to save money. There will be other places where you can save and where you will be more invested in the work required to make those savings.
M or myself will maybe put up a post detailing a little of the process, but that won’t be for a couple of weeks.
Until then, here’s a little teaser:
This is one of my absolute favourite ads.
I’ve realized you can only rant and rave so much before people get tired and want you to stop talking about what’s wrong and start talking about how to fix it.
So rather than ranting about the disrespect that some people show to their partners, how about we talk about how much we love, respect and admire our partners. I’ll go first.
I love the way M takes care of me when I’m sick. He tucks me in and gets me books, drinks and food. I admire his intelligence and practicality, and the way he applies it. I complained about my tube of toothpaste, because there’s a new flip-cap on the kind I normally get, and I was struggling to open it. He examined it for a moment and then used a nail clipper to file away at the inside, making the clasp a little looser and therefore much easier to open. I also respect him for his opinions and preferences. He’s generally a little more easy-going than I am, and I really appreciate the balance.
What do you love about your partner? If you’re single, what do you love about your housemate, close friend or parent?
When I first got engaged, one of my dear friends strongly advised me not to go on TheKnot.com forums. She didn’t want the agonizing over details that goes on there to stress me out.
After not listening to her advice (I’m sorry, J! I promise I’ve only read a few. 
), I read a post today that has turned me off of the forums completely.
Why, you ask? Because the author of the post and about three quarters of the responders were so unbelievably disrespectful of their future (and/or current) fiancés/husbands, especially when the men expressed concerns they had (specifically about expenses). The discussions were about “how to get your own way” and “reasons why husband-to-be is being silly” and so on.
I really struggle with the “my wedding day is all about me” attitude. It’s selfish and untrue, and I think it makes the transition back to normal life (post-wedding) a lot more difficult to manage. It’s also very destructive to the relationship you have with your significant other. What should be a day about the two of you, your relationship, your family and, if you follow God, Him, is suddenly all about you, and your opinions are all that matter. I think it’s a very destructive pattern.
We’re in the mode of giving freely and generously to each other while dating.
I will bake cookies for the boy, because the boy loves cookies and loves me when I do!
I will travel long distances to see the girl, because I love the girl and she loves me when I do!
I will be sweet and look pretty, because it drives the boy wild when I do.
I will be romantic and chivalrous, because it drives the girl wild when I do.
And so on.
And so he falls in love, and so he proposes. And he continues on thinking in this way:
I will look at flowers for the wedding even though I don’t really care, because she wants to and loves it when I am there, too.
I will express an interest in colours even though it doesn’t matter, because she is interested and I want to be there for her.
I will go from store to store looking for a candleholder that perfectly matches the candleholders she got three months ago that may or may not be discontinued because she suddenly realized she needed another because her girlfriends from high school decided they would come after all and now we need another centrepiece and she’s freaking out and if I don’t do this, she’ll snarl at me for the rest of the week and not talk to me for the week after and ohmygosh, what have I gotten myself into?
Seriously. This isn’t that much of an exaggeration, is it? The boy goes happily along, doing whatever he can for the girl because he deeply loves her and wants her to be happy. But some weird switch flips once she gets the rock on her finger, and now, everything is all about her. So she stops doing the sweet, fun, romantic, loving things that she used to do. The world is about her, after all, so of course, he should be serving her, but she certainly doesn’t need to serve him, unless she feels like it.
It isn’t entirely her fault, though. I think the wedding industry has realized that women are very good at getting our own way (we know how to pout and plead and puppy-eye). So, the wedding industry makes everything a must-have. Budget bride articles talk about how to pull off a successful destination wedding. The string quartet is a given, along with the pony the bride will be walked down the aisle on. 150 guests is a small wedding, and does 100 or less even have enough witnesses for it to count? How many ads say, “This day is all about the bride; make it everything you’ve ever dreamed”?
Brides are told to be selfish. They are told they have a right to be so, and when the world doesn’t bend to their beating drum, they are told they have been horribly wronged. Grooms, even though they are partners in their relationships, half of the cause for celebration, and heretofore, respected and loved individuals, are expected to lie down and take it. And if they don’t, find themselves hen-picked and disdained.
I am, I admit, being fairly harsh on my sex… but ladies, you loved and respected your man before you got engaged. Loosen your hold on the idol of your perfect day enough so that you can continue to love and respect this man after you get engaged. You will be able to get everything exactly as you want it for your wedding, but it will be at the expense of the relationships you value in your life. It’s not worth it. Let go of the string quartet. Your day will be just as perfect if you walk down the aisle to a 99 cent recording from iTunes.
That is all.
They tell us this is The Lull.
We’re just over three months out and apparently, this is the time when everything goes silent, until about a month before the wedding. I think they’re wrong, though, because it feels like the lull ended a couple of weeks ago.
M and I were working on invitations yesterday. We’ve had the wording essentially done for several weeks now (just little tweaks here and there), but M is in exams, and I… have no excuse… but either way, we were only just able to make time for them (just in time, too!).
I’m grateful for the way that M and I work. We have different styles and different talents, but they are definitely complementary. M has done a beautiful job with taking the thoughts and ideas that have been bouncing around and making them into something tangible.
We’re looking forward to perhaps documenting the project and certainly to seeing the finished results. I hope that you are, too!
Recent Comments